When You Look At Me
by Moment For Life
Summary: It's insecurity that is always chasing you and standing in the way of your dreams. Short story.


_It's insecurity that is always chasing you and standing in the way of your dreams.  
\- Vin Diesel._

_For anybody who has ever felt an ounce of insecurity..._

**When You Look At Me**

I was naked. Emotionally stripped of every boundary I have ever built. He pulled them down with one single swoop. His voice had disturbed my deep, dark thoughts on a cold night not so long ago. It pierced the air full of concern to silence any demons I was fighting in that moment.

Those eyes that I fell into with such hesitation but in the end I couldn't stop myself. The vile path of thoughts which had entered my head as I ran down the deck of the ship. It was sickening…deafening.

I was weaker than I had thought but as soon as he had taken my hands in his, the strength which he possessed seeped into my body. It made me determined to live, to not let my own demons win. I may have lived with them for some time, they may laugh at my pathetic attempts to succumb but they would not win. I may suffer a while longer but during the time I am suffering I will be growing and learning new things.

I gave into him as I followed my heart and not my head. I gave him my hand and I put my life into his hands, he pulled me back and gave me a reason to live.

The demons seemed to cease, he was a force from above as he fought any issues alongside me. He taught me to not care, to live in that very moment, for seconds later it could all be over with.

I opened my heart and soul for the very first time in my young life knowing this action would remain with me for the rest of my life. I would remember these moments, these defining and beautiful moments forever.

I had become a woman in just a few short days. A woman capable of speaking her own mind, a modern woman. I no longer was viewed as perfect, I had imperfections, ones which he fully embraced and nurtured to the point where I no longer felt inadequate.

The mannerisms which my Mother would curse me for were the ones which he admired the most. He put me up on a pedestal which I felt I deserved to be on. He took me into his arms for the first time and I fell into him…those eyes which I had avoided for so long. I had to give in.

We danced so rapidly that I hadn't had time to think and then he took me slowly and tenderly, with his arm across my lower back, holding firmly but gently. Those eyes which never felt mine and mine never left his. They spoke wordlessly to me.

I had made a wish for him. I wished upon a shooting star, just as Nanna used to say. I had wished as I breathed so slowly with his face so close to mine and in those few seconds I had thought my wish had come true. The most overwhelming feelings overcame my whole body to the point I was dizzy…I walked away.

In my Mother's attempt to rip us apart, my heart only grew stronger. The demons would not return and nor would they win. Nor would my fiancé.

Then he came to me, to rescue me but I had to rescue myself. I was the butterfly trapped inside the Goddamn jar, not him and I needed to release myself and to not be released. I found my way out, I escaped and I went to him. He taught me how to spread my wings and to fly. Then the demons returned.

''You'll always fall, but then you will soar.''

The words he whispered to me as he spread my wings. The wind hit our faces, awakening my senses and then through a fresh pair of eyes I saw my future. It was in the sunrise, in the distance, a new fresh start and then there was Jack Dawson.

Nothing could rip us apart, not even the sinking of the Titanic. As we stood on the boat deck of the Carpathia, his grip tightened on me.

''What do you see when you look at me?'' I asked him, the doubts returning momentarily to my mind. I had left my family and my home for this man I had known merely three days.

''My future, my home and my everything.'' He whispered as we approached Lady Liberty as she stood tall and proud. My breath was taken from my lungs and even as we shivered under grey wet skies. I was happy. My demons left and they never returned.


End file.
